I remember coming home to a nearly empty house and watching my utterly shattered mother trying to make sense of it.
My father had just abandoned us. Not only did he leave, he completely cleared the place of anything of value. I was just seven years old and experienced my first sense of hopelessness.
I was also introduced to the concepts of failure and letdown. I thought we had failed as a family.
Fast forward about a decade or so: The Cold War is still in full swing and I lived in Warsaw, Poland. The future was bleak; all of us felt nothing could ever change. Hopelessness was everywhere – all the more reason to nurture the mindset of inevitability.
I managed to go to Western Europe though, moving to Belgium and France for a few years despite leaving my family behind, never to return. In Paris I met the love of my life and we moved to Canada to pursue our education, culminating in graduate degrees.
Then I got pregnant. We were over the moon expecting our first-born son! Yet once again, hopelessness returned. Max was premature and died during delivery.
I remember feeling that I failed my husband, my son, and even my far-away mother.
Two years later I found myself yet again pregnant and in the hospital, delivering a baby daughter.
Ula was born without any vital signs at all. This time though, my child lived!
I will never forget the OB/GYN saying to me “Do you ever wonder why bad things happen to good people? You will never really know how your daughter was affected by not having enough oxygen flow into her brain until she goes to school.”
On what was again supposed to be a joyous day, hopelessness returned as fierce as ever. The horrible expectation, inadvertently set by the well-meaning obstretrician, was once again predestined and inexorable.
And that wasn’t all…
The waves kept crashing down. There were untimely deaths of close family members and disappointments with relationships to people I knew. A few career mishaps were sprinkled in and then Hurricane Katrina hit.
Mixed all together, you will have the perfect recipe for a really low life mood. I started to have frequent panic and anxiety attacks. I tried to cure it with medication, therapy, and counseling. There was only a little progress, and something was always missing.
It was time for a change. I wanted to finally move forward and overcome my hopelessness, but didn’t know where to start.
I kept working though and eventually realized I was stuck in the past rather than looking forward towards my future. By continually rehearsing all of my so-called failures, I reinforced this tragic mindset into an unshakeable belief.
What’s worse, it was then validated as I selected and accepted only the tough and miserable situations that confirmed the story!
I told myself, if only I had more intellectual or emotional endowments, then I would not be trapped in this predicament! If only I was more creative, I could re-create myself and see a better future!
As it turns out though, the key was finding my way to coaching.
Prior to becoming a Certified Professional Coach (CPC), I spent close to 20 years in health care management and consulting. I have met lots of people influenced by their low mood which is frequently the result of setbacks and rejection. Many patients with underlying low moods often manifested painful physical conditions onto themselves. Today the medical world is increasingly appreciating the connection between mental and physical health and we are finally beginning to reconcile the two.
I had already been very successful at health care and change management. My education consisted of a BA (Hon.) in Sociology and Anthropology as well as a Master’s Degree, and my prior career as a corporate analyst and information resources professional gave me a wide range of experiences and a different perspective as I moved into health care.
Yet I was always yearning for something more intense and more powerful.
Coaching is much more interested in your future than your past. It is about how rather than why. It gives you the opportunity to rewrite your life story with the help of a person who does not judge you. It gives you the mental, spiritual, and emotional skills that allow you to always be in the driver’s seat no matter what the circumstance is.
When I decided to become a professional coach, I read everything I could! After countless hours of research, I decided on studying at The Institute in Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC), one of the few leading schools in the US. I also chose it due to it being accredited by the International Coach Federation (ICF) which I later joined as a member.
With over 340 hours of course-work, iPEC produces the nation’s top coaches and I’m proud to have gone through their system. After loving their initial training so much, I continued my studies until I became certified as a Master Practitioner.
As I started working with clients, I began to draw from both my health care background and my coaching training. I began seeing incredible success when I mixed empathy and understanding with the actionable techniques I was trained in.
As time went on and my experience grew even more, I further refined my technique and all the nuances until I had fully developed what I now call The RICH Method.
RICH is an acronym, providing an overview of the steps I will take with you as your coach. It stands for:
Reframe. We’ll start by having you choose to view your situation or experience in a new light. This powerful technique will pull you out of the doldrums and get you taking the first steps towards a very happy and fulfilled life.
Identify. You will then begin to gain clarity on what you want out of your particular life challenge. You’ll start to recognize patterns, increase problem-solving behavior, and expand your capacity to regulate your emotions.
Compassion. We’ll ease your distress and make sure that you no longer feel worthless or inadequate. Confidence will continue to emerge as you love yourself and others more and more. You’ll start feeling like a hopeful kid again!
Happiness. The end result! You will feel proud about honoring your values, respecting your emotions and bringing delight into your life. You will be capable of handling life events with poise, calm, and with great intention.
The RICH Method has proven to be an incredible effective tool for helping all my clients realize their goals and dreams. Most importantly, it allows you to return to being a centered human being with a positive outlook and the confidence necessary to navigate any of life’s challenges.
Coaching has completely changed my life. Relief from the hopelessness that for so long consumed my mind. Empowerment where before I only felt continually weak and unable to change my situation. And a true and utter sense of being content, calm, and collected as I continue my journey through life.
I know what it takes after having gone through the transformation myself. I know you can do it, too.
I look forward to sharing this gift with you. When you are ready, click the button below to learn how to work with me.