How Staying in Comfort Zone and Awaiting Better Mood Can Sabotage You
The well-known American admonition to “Go west, young man, go west!” was about a promise of a wonderful life on the other side of the continent. To the family and friends of the leaving pioneers the association must have been bittersweet because they were extremely unlikely to see their loved ones again.
In a sense “going west”, which was later on switched out to “heading or going south”, suggests that something has actually been terminally broken down.
I lately asked a client of mine to come up with a title for his memoir. He stated, readily, “Gone South”. It suggested that he views his life as a straight regression, damaging or falling– all points that are unpleasant as well as psychologically connected with the American South.
But life is not linear. It is more like a meandering journey and my client’s own life is a great example of that idea.
He is accomplished professionally; has a terrific family and also is the author of a number of creations and inventions that make people’s lives easier and also even more pleasant.
We all could get stuck on how things “should” be while yearning to move forward at the same time.
We could get stuck in disappointments, feelings, emotions, moods, and also habitual thoughts and beliefs, or a mix of those. When we have a strong psychological attachment to a belief regarding something it can be really difficult to get ourselves unstuck.
Removing the psychological attachment to the belief in falling in “southern direction” is a must to get unstuck. It calls for a minimum of 2 factors.
Number one is leaving your comfort area.
You will recognize it as the place where you have stopped playing, mixing it up, challenging yourself with new ideas and viewpoints. Maybe you have become fearful to lose what you have already achieved. Life brings us a variety of twists, challenges and trials. Perhaps you started doubting that anything good or exciting would ever happen in your life. Over time, this limiting belief will cause you to develop funky moods and reinforce your belief that your life is indeed headed in the southern direction.
Number two is not waiting around till we get in a much better mood or until a perfect possibility presents itself to start doing exactly what we must.
Lots of people give in to the whim to avoid doing what they consider challenging or difficult in order to feel good in the moment. According to procrastination researchers, we give in to feel good. We give in to food, shopping, drinking, smoking, gambling and procrastination. We say things like: “I need to feel better in order to do this”, or “I don’t feel like it” and I need to feel better first”.
In fact, the opposite is true. Getting going without delay, instead of focusing on our feelings or moods in the short term, will yield better results. Great jazz musicians for instance (John Coltrane, Miles Davis) did not wait for a perfect opportunity or an ideal chance to play. They did not wait to generate the ideal mood but played despite the kind of mood they were in at the moment.
Start with what’s already available and use everything you’ve got as an opportunity to improve in life.
I encourage you to share your thoughts and ideas about what to do in order not to feel that your life has gone or is heading south. I am looking forward to your comments.
Until next time.