Worry as a Badge of Honor: Choice Between Worry and Care
Last week I had a client whom I was debriefing following her Energy Leadership Index Assessment (ELI). The ELI assessment provides insights into how we show up in various aspects of our life. It measures a person’s potential leadership ability by her or his level of consciousness – your awareness about who you are and what life is about. The assessment also shows your energetic reaction to stress so that you can recognize and, if desired, modify that reaction.
My client’s answers signaled that she carries ‘constant weight on her shoulders‘.
Upon some consideration, what I found out was both surprising yet quite common. In spite of feeling overburdened, restricted and often overwhelmed, my client prides herself on ‘being constantly worried’ about her children, her family, her life and the entire world. I realized that being a perpetual ‘worrier’ is a source of personal satisfaction to her. She wears her worry like a badge of honor. She is not alone. My mother too liked to think that she did not have a choice whether to worry or not, so she worried about problems that were not hers to fix. More remarkably, she equated worrying with being a good person and parent.
Worry is a profoundly human experience. In fact it is an attempt at removing possible threats. Threats exist strictly in the mind and refer to potential bad events in the future. The vast majority of bad events that are feared are not going to happen anyway.
However, someone who worries habitually does it with the intention to prevent bad things from happening in their life, or more often than not, in somebody else’s life.
Constant worrying for others stems from a lack of trust that everyone has his or her consciousness. In fact, worrisome state suppresses a person’s ability to generate trust and to be truly present to others. Worrying about everyone else divides our attention and energy.
This type of worry is a main cause of many diseases and conditions. My client’s worrisome state has hugely noticeable effect on her physical health, weight and moods.
I believe that she does have a choice. She can stay firmly grounded in what and whom she cares about without tormenting herself and others with disturbing thoughts about what may or may not happen in the future, especially for others in her life. The choice is between worry and care, don’t you think?